The weeks are going by so fast this year, particularly since starting uni five weeks ago. I look forward to Fridays, and to studying, and four day work weeks are so much more manageable for folk like me. It feels less like this job defines my life, as much as gives me something to do, to allow me to appreciate uni. I’m still uncertain as to whether I want to stay here next year, but it’s mainly because I don’t want to end up working in hospitality again. Uni definitely feels different this time around though, much less directionless and decision-prolonging, and far more
Last night D and I booked all of our accommodation for the first couple of weeks of our Japan trip, which is relieving, but also limiting. Being away for Christmas and New Year means that we don’t have the luxury of coming and staying as we please, or finding special places to stay and things to do. I suppose that’s for next time. I was looking forward to not only being able to do this, but doing it this on this trip. In practice, I’m not as adventurous on my own as I feel like I am in my head. As nice as it is to be away without any particular plans or itinerary, being alone and away and without an itinerary has never really led to me exploring unexplored nooks and crannies, as much as hitching up my guard and shuffling around, feeling vulnerable. Being away with D, I’m sure we’ll do far more and I’ll spend far less energy being anxious. Perhaps.
I have been reading popular non-fiction books about development and aid, and feel like I’m better equipped to fully understand and digest the various blogs on the subject. My books are underlined and alarm bells go off in my head of their own accord now, when reading certain claims or propositions. I wonder when my scepticism about research and particular ways of thinking became so developed, though, and how much working in the public service has contributed to it. Apart from everything else, it has forced me to draft, and to be far more critical and purposeful about the way I write. I’m a far more critical reader of published works than I used to be, which adds another layer to the curse of being a grammar nazi.